my grandfather always had candy in his pockets, and one time when I got really sick and I was hospitalized my dad told him not to give me any candy. He pulled out his pockets to show he hadn’t even brought any and I got really sad but as soon as my dad walked out of the room he then proceeded to take off his hat and had 2 chewy chocolate candy toffees and 2 orange fanta toffees, and I’ll never forget the happiness and surprise I felt in that one moment in my entire life.
i hate spotify ads because i listen to playlists in the shower a lot and there is nothing more startling than being completely naked and suddenly hearing lebron james say “i’ll tell you what makes me thirsty”
i’m all for boys wearing makeup mostly because if more of them got into it there’d be a bigger market and it wouldn’t cost $25 for an eyeshadow primer anymore
i can’t wait to go into the makeup aisle to get the latest man-color of guyshadow that comes in containers shaped like bullets and footballs
Can you imagine Harry trying to parent his children and tell them they need to settle down but then James Sirius just pulls out his edition of Harry James Potter: A History and goes, “When you were my age you followed an alleged mass murderer into a tunnel, faced a werewolf and nearly got killed by dementors. I think I can go to The Bent-Winged Snitches concert.”
wtf you mean real women have curves? all women are real women
THIS IS IMPORTANT
An extra hour in the ballpit! Alriiight!
I CAN HEAR HER
i read this interesting fact the other day that pirates wore eye patches because they frequently transitioned from bright sunlight to darkness below deck and when they went below deck the covered eye would already be adjusted to darkness so they could immediately see really well and not have to wait for their eyes to adjust
THIS IS LEGIT THEY PROVED IT ON MYTHBUSTERS.
i learned this from a gay pirate au fanfic i read
But I am pretty look at me im so pretty it’s not arrogance when it’s literally just a fact im so pretty
SO PRETTY!!!!! ME!!! IM PRETTY!!! IM A PRETTY PRETTY GIRL!!!!
I like this.
If a man tells you you’re pretty, it’s supposed to be this amazing gift you cherish forever.
If you tell a man you’re pretty, you’re a horrible, shallow, awful person and it isn’t true.
Okay everyone. Do you see this?
Do you see these two words?
They do not mean the same thing.
Can we all decide to stop using “gay” as a synonym for bisexual, since they’re completely different things? Bisexuality is not the same concept as homosexuality, nor is it a subset of it.
That aside I’m all for bi Spiderman
Cute little marshmallows
this makes me so happy
Wait. Is that big marshmallow licking that little marshmallow?
Is it a… cannibal?
I think it’s the marshmallow’s mom and it’s trying to comfort the little marshmallow
Maybe it’s a habit specific to the marshmallow species
Ok but this is one of my favorite Disney endings because they decided to be happy together as frogs rather than try and find a way to be human and by finding that happiness they got to be humans again like that is rad as hell thank you Disney
Uh excuse you, that is the plot of Shrek